Setting boundaries with people is a need in life because it makes that person that has boundaries, comfortable. Think of a boundary as a personal bubble, it is meant to draw a line between uncomfortable things, for that person. A boundary is meant to protect and take good care of that person. However, some people don’t know how to set healthy boundaries because it seems hard to do. It may seem hard but once you start doing it, it will become easier. Now, I say healthy boundaries because there is a thing called unhealthy boundaries.
What’s the difference? Healthy boundaries involve communicating your wants and needs, while also respecting another person's wants and needs as well. It is respecting the other person and your boundaries whether physical or emotional. In comparison, unhealthy boundaries involve a disregard for your own and others’ values, wants, needs, and limits. These unhealthy boundaries tend to cause toxic and abusive relationships. In general, nobody wants to set unhealthy boundaries in a relationship.
Setting healthy boundaries is part of self-care because it helps prevent resentment, anger, and burnout. To set healthy boundaries the person has to identify the desired boundary, communicate, stay simple, and set consequences. First, you have to identify the desired boundary. Ask yourself what types of boundaries you want to set with some people. Also, ask yourself what actions make you feel comfortable. After that step, communicate the decision with that person. By telling them what feels comfortable and respected. The person could say, “I don’t feel comfortable with…..” and continue to make their point. Next, whenever the person already explained their boundaries and someone crosses them, keep it simple and just say “no.”
Finally, the most important step is to set consequences by stating why you’re setting them and why they are important. In general, the key to setting boundaries is first figuring out what you want from your various relationships, setting boundaries based on those desires, and then being clear with yourself and with other people about your boundaries. What makes setting healthy boundaries hard for some people is the art of saying “no”. Some things the person can do is practice saying no, communicate your idea clearly, and be assertive but respectful.
As I said before, saying no and setting boundaries to get easier once people start doing it more. People don’t have to feel bad about setting boundaries and saying no. It is normal to feel uncomfortable with people and learning how to say no can get those people out of your life. Lead a better life by setting healthy boundaries.
Sources:
https://healthyrelationshipsinitiative.org/healthy-vs-unhealthy-boundaries/ https://positivepsychology.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/#how-healthy-boundaries
https://www.betterup.com/blog/how-to-say-no
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