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How to Befriend Loneliness



Loneliness is a universal experience of feeling left out, lack of companionship, and feeling unwanted or empty. Despite the name of it, loneliness can occur even when you’re not alone. Loneliness can come up when you are around many people but don’t feel quite fit in, or when you can’t find the connection you are seeking in a group of people. It can also cause by living alone, losing your loved ones, social anxiety, and more. According to Harvard research, about 61 percent of United States citizens feel incredibly lonely in daily life. The research was conducted in 2017, which is before the Covid pandemic and social distancing. Jacqueline Old, a psychiatry consultant at Massachusetts General Hospital has said that “You feel alone, even empty, and you want to connect with others, but your feelings of loneliness make it harder to do so” (Chai, 2022). Showing how loneliness can cause more loneliness. For instance, feeling lonely might make you think you don’t fit in with a group of people, which cause you the fear of reaching out and getting the social support and connection you desire, this might make you confirm that you’re being left out, and then, you fall into a vicious cycle of loneliness (CMHA, 2022).


Loneliness can be depressing and difficult to deal with, but after all, it’s just a feeling, it’s important to know how to manage loneliness and find methods to change your condition if it’s severely bugging you. Below are some of the tips to manage loneliness (Mind, 2019):


Address the cause of loneliness

Do you feel lonely because you lack social support, or do you feel lonely even when there are a lot of people around you? Do you isolate yourself or do you think people left you out on purpose? This process could be hard and it’s fine if you need to talk to your counselor about it.


Take it slow (CMHA, 2022)

It’s common to feel lonely if you are currently moving to another country or school. It’s also common to feel lonely even if you have friends or people you know. Maybe you’re just not having the sparks between people, or maybe it’s hard for you to open up and meet new people. It’s okay to take time and remember you don’t have to rush into anything.


Open up and build a stronger relationship with people you already know

As mentioned, feeling lonely can occur when you have a lot of people around you. Try to open up to the ones you are more similar to first and get comfortable with them. It could be one of your family members or your best friend. When you have a strong bonding with someone and know someone will be there when you need them the most, it could reduce your current loneliness and build confidence to meet new people. After all, relationships are never about quantity but quality, so aim for a healthy relationship.


Be active and meet new people (Mind, 2019)

If you feel lonely because you‘re lacking friends or you can’t feel the sparks in your current relationship, maybe it’s time for you to meet new people. This could start with joining clubs you are interested in, joining online communities about your passions, volunteering, or starting a conversation with your classmates.


Understand that you won’t be everyone’s friend, and that’s fine (CMHA, 2022)

After meeting up with people, you might find out that some people don’t really get along with you, which doesn’t reflect your self-value or worth. It just means that you haven’t met the right group or individuals yet.


Take care and focus on yourself (Mind, 2019)

Feeling lonely can be very stressful and have an impact on your general lifestyle, which makes it harder to step out for positive changes. Consider if you have a healthy diet, and sleeping schedule and try to spend some time outside. These can improve your overall mental health status.





Work Cited


Chai, Carmen, and Christine Byrne. “Loneliness: Causes, Coping with It, and

Getting Help.” EverydayHealth.com, 29 July 2022,

https://www.everydayhealth.com/loneliness/.


“Find Help Now.” CMHA British Columbia, 2022,

https://cmha.bc.ca/documents/coping-with-loneliness/.


“Tips to Manage Loneliness.” Mind, July 2019,

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-

living/loneliness/tips-to-manage-loneliness/.


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